Tips For Parents: 2007 Columns

In April 2007, The South Bay Coalition began a monthly column in
The Beach Reporter.
Following are the articles that have appeared in 2007:
(2008 Tips Columns)

• Tips For Parents   (April 2007)
• The Risks of “Experimentation”   (May 2007)
• What to Do and When!   (June 2007)
• Alcohol and Youth   (July 2007)
• High School Can Be a Tough World   (August 2007)
• What’s Driving Teens to Abuse Prescription Drugs?   (September 2007)
• Parenting Early Adolescence   (October 2007)
  
• A Letter of Truth: From Real High School Students to Lost Parents   (November 2007)
• The Awkward Years – 14-16   (December 2007)
  

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Tips For Parents   (April 2007)

Parents, you are the first line of defense when it comes to your child’s drug use or drinking. And you do make a difference! Nearly two-thirds of teenagers see great risk of upsetting their parents or losing the respect of family and friends if they smoke marijuana or use other drugs.

Here are some simple steps you can take to keep track of your child’s activities. Of course, your kids might not like you keeping tabs on where they are and what they’re dong. It won’t be a democracy, and it shouldn’t be, according to many parenting experts. In the end, it’s not pestering, it’s parenting.

Set Rules. Let your teen know that alcohol or other drug use is unacceptable and that these rules are set to keep him or her safe. Set limits with clear consequences for breaking them.

Praise and Reward good behavior for compliance and enforce consequences for non-compliance.

Know where your teen is and what he or she will be doing during unsupervised time. Research shows that teens with unsupervised time are three times more likely to use marijuana or other drugs. Unsupervised teens are also more likely to engage in risky behaviors such as underage drinking, sexual activity, and cigarette smoking than other teens. This is particularly important after school, in the evening hours, and also when school is out during the summer or holidays.

Talk to your teen. While shopping or riding in the car, casually ask him how things are going at school, about his friends, what his plans are for the weekend, etc.

Keep them busy – especially between 3pm to 6pm and into the evening hours. Engage your teen in after-school activities. Enroll your child in a supervised educational program or a sports league. Research shows that teens who are involved in constructive, adult-supervised activities are less likely to use drugs than other teens.

Check on your teenager. Occasionally check in to see that your kids are where they say they’re going to be and that they are spending time with whom they say they’re with.

Establish a “core values statement” for your family. Consider developing a family mission statement that reflects your family’s core values. This might be discussed and created during a family meeting or over a weekend meal together. Talking abut what they stand for is particularly important at a time when teens are pressured daily by external influences on issues like drugs, sex, violence, or vandalism. If there is no compass to guide your kids, the void will be filled by the strongest force.

Spend time together as a family regularly and be involved in your kid’s lives. Create a bond with your child. This builds up credit with your child so that when you have to set limits or enforce consequences, it’s less stressful.

Take time to learn the facts about marijuana and underage drinking and talk to your teen about its harmful health, social, learning, and mental affects on young users. Visit the drug information area of TheAntidrug.com.

Get to know your teen’s friends (and their parents) by inviting them over for dinner or talking with them at your teen’s soccer practice, dance rehearsal, or other activities.

Stay in touch with the adult supervisors of your child (camp counselors, coaches, employers, teachers) and have them inform you of any changes in your teen. Warning signs of drug use include distance from family and existing friends, hanging out with a new circle of friends, lack of interest in personal appearance, or changes in eating or sleeping habits.

The above information from TheAntiDrug.com, is brought to you by the South Bay Coalition and the Manhattan Beach Police Department. The South Bay Coalition (www.sbcoalition.com) is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth.

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The Risks Of "Experimentation"   (May 2007)

What’s the Big Deal About Marijuana?
 
“But it’s only marijuana” or “it’s only alcohol,” you say. “It’s a rite of passage.” “Teens are expected to experiment.” Not any more. The world has changed, and so have the drugs. In fact, the marijuana of today is stronger than ever before. Drug and alcohol use can lead to many negative consequences, including bad grades, broken friendships, family problems, trouble with the law, etc.

Most important, teens’ brains and bodies are still developing, and substance use can interfere with their emerging independence and efforts to establish their own identity. Drug and alcohol use can change the direction of a young person’s life – physically, emotionally, and behaviorally. It can weaken the ability to concentrate and retain information during a teen’s peak learning years, and impair judgment leading to risky decision-making that could involve sex or getting into a car with someone under the influence of drugs.

“Experimentation,” even with marijuana, can also lead to addiction. Not everyone progresses from use to abuse to addiction, but it is a dangerous road and there is no way to know who will become addicted and who won’t.

Scientific Research About Risks of "Experimentation"

Drug and alcohol abuse by teens is not something to be taken lightly.

• More teens are in treatment with a primary diagnosis of marijuana dependence than for all other illicit drugs combined.¹
• Research also shows that many adolescents start to drink at very young ages. In 2003, the average age of first use of alcohol was about 14, compared to about 17 1/2 in 1965.²
• A 1998 study by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism says if a 15-year-old starts to drink, he or she has a 40% chance of alcoholism or dependence as an adult.³
• Kids are using marijuana at an earlier age. In the late 1960s fewer than half of those using marijuana for the first time were under 18. By 2001, about two-thirds (67 percent) of marijuana users were younger than 18.⁴
• Marijuana affects alertness, concentration, perception, coordination and reaction time, many of the skills required for safe driving and other tasks. These effects can last up to 24 hours after smoking marijuana. Marijuana use can also make it difficult to judge distances and react to signals and sounds on the road.⁵
• Smoking marijuana leads to changes in the brain that are similar to those caused by cocaine, heroin, or alcohol.⁶

Parents Are the Most Important Influence in a Child's Life
 
There is a growing body of research that shows that parents are central to preventing adolescent substance abuse. In fact, kids themselves say that losing their parents’ trust and respect are the most important reasons not to use drugs. As a parent, your actions do matter. When you suspect, or know, that your child has used drugs, take action to stop it as soon as you can. It may be the most important step you ever tak

^1. TEDS, SAMHSA, October 2001

^2. Newes-Adeyi, G.; Chen, C.M.; Williams, G.D.; and Faden, V.B. NIAAA Surveillance Report No. 74: Trends in Underage Drinking in the United States, 1991–2003. Bethesda, MD: National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 2005.

^3. Grant, B.F., and Dawson, D.A. Age of onset of alcohol use and its association with DSM–IV alcohol abuse and dependence: Results from the National Longitudinal Alcohol Epidemiologic Survey. Journal of Substance Abuse 9:103–110, 1997.

^4. Trends in Initiation of Substance Use. Based on the 2002 National Survey on Drug Use and Health. dSAMHSA, 2003.

^5. Marijuana: Facts Parents Need to Know, Revised, NIDA, November 1998.

^6. Marijuana: Facts Parents Need to Know, Revised, NIDA, November 1998

The above information from TheAntiDrug.com, is brought to you by the South Bay Coalition and the Manhattan Beach Police Department. The South Bay Coalition (www.sbcoalition.com) is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth.

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What To Do And When!   (June 2007)

When you have a suspicion that your teen is “experimenting” with drugs, what do you do?

Get Educate

First, learn as much as you can. Sign up for TheAntiDrug Parenting Tips Newsletter or visit www.Freevibe.com for information and scientific evident on alcohol and other drug use by teens. Or, call the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information (NCADI) for free pamphlets and fact sheets. They can be reached at 1-800-788-2800 or visit their web site at http://www.health.org.

Have The Talk – Let Them Know You Know

The next thing you can do is sit down and talk with your child. Be sure to have the conversation when you are all calm and have plenty of time. This isn’t an easy task – your feelings may range from anger to guilt that you “failed” because your kid is using drugs. This isn’t true – by staying involved you can help him/her stop using and make choices that will make a positive difference in his/her life.

Be Specific About Your Concerns

Tell your child what you see and how you feel about it. Be specific about the things you have observed that cause concern. Make it known if you found drug paraphernalia (or empty bottles or cans). Explain exactly how his/her behavior or appearance (bloodshot eyes, different clothing) has changed and why that worries you. Tell him/her that alcohol or other drug use is dangerous and it’s your job to keep him/her away from things that put him/her in danger.

Don’t Make Excuses

Although it’s natural for parents to make excuses for their child, you’re not helping him/her if you make excuses when he/she misses school or family functions when you suspect something else is at play. Take the next step. Talk to your child and get more information.

Try To Remain Calm And Connect With Him/Her

Have this discussion without getting mad or accusing your child of being stupid or bad or an embarrassment to the family. Be firm but loving with your tone and try not to get hooked into an argument. Knowing that kids are naturally private about their lives, try to find out what’s going on in your child’s life. Try not to make the discussion an inquisition; simply try to connect with your teen and find out why he/she may be making bad choices. Find out if friends or others offered your child drugs at a party or at school. Did he/she try it just out of curiosity, or did he/she use marijuana or alcohol for some other reason? That alone will be a signal to your child that you care and that you are going to be the parent exercising your rights.

Be Prepared. Practice What You’ll Say

Be prepared for your teen to deny using drugs. Don’t expect him/her to admit he/she has a problem. Your child will probably get angry and might try to change the subject. Maybe you’ll be confronted with questions about what you did as a kid. If you are asked, it is best to be honest, and if you can, connect your use to negative consequences. Answering deceptively can cause you to lose credibility with your kids if they ever find out that you’ve lied to them. On the other hand, if you don’t feel comfortable answering the question, you can talk about some specific people you know that have had negative things happen to them as a result of alcohol and other drug use. However, if the time comes to talk about it, you can give short, honest answers like these:

“When I was a kid I took drugs because of my friends did. I did it in order to fit in. If I’d know then about the consequences and how they affect my life, I never would’ve tried drugs. I’ll do everything I can to help keep you away from them.”

“I drank alcohol and smoked marijuana because I was bored and wanted to take some risks, but I soon found out that I couldn’t control the risks – the loss of trust of my parents and friends. There are much better ways of challenging yourself than doing drugs.”

Act Now

You can begin to more closely monitor your child’s activities. Have a few conversations. Ask: Who? What? Where? When? Reflect with your child on why he/she is using drugs and try to understand the reasons why so that you can help solve the problem. When you get a better idea of the situation, then you can decide next steps. These could include setting new rules and consequences that are reasonable and enforceable – such as a new curfew, no cell phone or computer privileges for a period of time, or less time hanging out with friends. You may want to get them involved in pro-social activities that will keep them busy and help them meet new people.

The above information from TheAntiDrug.com, is brought to you by the South Bay Coalition and the Manhattan Beach Police Department. The South Bay Coalition (www.sbcoalition.com) is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth.

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Alcohol And Youth   (July 2007)

Alcohol is a product that is only legal for those that are 21 years of age, and is a depressant that comes from organic sources including grapes, grains and berries. These products are fermented and distilled into a liquid.
 
A standard drink is:

• One 12-ounce bottle of beer or wine cooler;
• One 5-ounce glass of wine; or
• 1.5 ounces of 80-proof distilled spirits.

Alcohol affects every part of the body. It is carried through the bloodstream to the brain, stomach, internal organs, liver, kidneys, and muscles – everywhere. It is absorbed very quickly (as short as 5 - 10 minutes) and can stay in the body for several hours. Alcohol affects the central nervous system and brain. It can make users loosen up, relax, and feel more comfortable, or can make them more aggressive.

Unfortunately, it also lowers their inhibitions, which can set them up for embarrassing or dangerous behavior. In fact, each year approximately 5,000 young people under the age of 21 die as a result of underage drinking. This statistic (from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism) includes about 1,900 deaths from motor vehicle accidents; 1,600 homicides; 300 suicides; and hundreds of others stemming from injuries such as falls, burns, and drownings.

Health Hazards

Did you know that alcohol can impair the parts of the brain that control the following:

Motor coordination. This includes the ability to walk, drive, and process information.

Impulse control. Drinking lowers inhibitions and increases the chances that a person will do something that they will regret.

Memory. Impaired recollection and even blackouts can occur when too much alcohol has been consumed.

Judgment and decision making capacity. Drinking may lead young people to engage in risky behaviors that can result in illness, injury, and even death.

It’s no secret that society gives children mixed messages about alcohol. As a parent, you should know that underage drinking can have serious consequences, especially on the still-developing teenage brain.

Risky Behavior

Many kids start drinking in middle school. In fact, one out of every two 8th graders has tried alcohol. Additionally, more kids use alcohol than use tobacco or illicit drugs and more children are killed by alcohol than all illegal drugs combined.

But the risky behavior does not end there.

Dependence. In recent studies, people who reported starting to drink before the age of 15 were four times more likely to also report meeting the criteria for alcohol dependence at some point in their lives. In fact, new research shows that the serious drinking problems (including what is called alcoholism) typically associated with middle age actually begin to appear much earlier, during young adulthood and even adolescence.

Illicit drug use. More than 67 percent of young people who start drinking before the age of 15 will try an illicit drug. Children who drink are over 7 times more likely to use any illicit drug, are over 22 times more likely to use marijuana, and 50 times more likely to use cocaine than children who never drink.

Sexual activity. Alcohol use by teens is a strong predictor of both sexual activity and unprotected sex. A survey of high school students found that 18 percent of females and 39 percent of males say it is acceptable for a boy to force sex if the girl is high or drunk.

Violence. Children who start drinking before age 15 are 12 times more likely to be injured while under the influence of alcohol and 10 times more likely to be in a fight after drinking, compared with those who wait until they are 21 to drink.

School. Student substance use precedes, and is a risk factor for, academic problems, such as lower grades, absenteeism and high dropout rates. Alcohol can interfere with a student’s ability to think, making learning and concentration more difficult and ultimately impeding academic performance. In fact, the more a student uses alcohol, tobacco and other drugs, the lower his/her grade point average is likely to be and the more likely he or she is to drop out of school.

Driving. When young people drink and get into a car, they tend to make poor decisions that impact their safety. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, traffic crashes are the number one killer of teens and over one-third of teen traffic deaths are alcohol-related.

Protecting Children

Parents can take the following steps to encourage their children to abstain from alcohol:

• Spend time together regularly.
• Listen and talk with your children. Try to understand the pressures placed on them and don't criticize their beliefs.
• Keep track of where your children are, what they are doing, and who their friends are.
• Get them involved in after-school activities so they won’t be able to just "hang out" with friends in the afternoon. This is when children are most likely to experiment.
• Praise or reward children often. If they feel good about themselves, they will be more confident and better able to resist peer pressure.
• Be a positive role model for your children. Don't abuse alcohol or drugs.

Across the country, parents are being held responsible for youth drinking in very tangible ways.  That trend includes the South Bay. Back in February, Manhattan Beach's City Council unanimously approved the introduction of Ordinance 2096 which creates a Civil Social Host Ordinance which will hold non-commercial individuals responsible for any underage drinking of alcoholic beverages on property they own, lease, or otherwise control. This ordinance increases the level of responsibility for adults to ensure that underage drinking does not occur at their homes, mainly at parties. In the past, when police have discovered underage drinking occurring at people's homes, the controlling adult would claim ignorance and little could be done about the situation.  However, underage drinking is a major problem in the United States and the City of Manhattan Beach is taking proactive steps to protect their youth. Despite minors making up only one-tenth of the State's population, the Alcoholic Beverage Control (ABC) states that minors are involved in nearly half of the alcohol related fatal traffic collisions in the state. 
 
So, the next time you are hosting a party for teenagers, take the time to ensure there is no underage drinking occurring on the property you control. The fine for the first offense will be $1000 and will increase with each subsequent violation. Should the police discover that any adult knowingly allowed underage drinking to occur on their property, they could be subject to a criminal offense as well; contributing to the delinquency of a minor, which is a jailable offense.

The above information from TheAntiDrug.com, is brought to you by the South Bay Coalition and the Manhattan Beach Police Department. The South Bay Coalition (www.sbcoalition.com) is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth

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High School Can Be A Tough World   (August 2007)

Helping your teen grow into a healthy and responsible adult is a rewarding part of being a parent, but it’s not always an easy job. Kids can be brutal to each other. Helping your child cope and manage feelings he or she encounters during the high school years are difficult and fragile tasks, but they are important. Peer-related stress for your teen can result from being the target of vicious gossip, getting teased or bullied, or knowing that his/her friends are involved in dangerous things like drinking, drugs, and/or other risky behaviors. Stress can also result from not “joining the crowd,” and fear of rejection. Most teens will encounter some of these scenarios, so it’s vital to give your child the tools he/she needs to handle the complex peer environment.

Here are some things you can do to help your teen deal with their life:

Emotionally Connect With Your Child

Give your child extra attention and consideration. Keeping the lines of communication open and encouraging discussion is key. Be there to listen and share your own experiences from high school.

Be Alert to Signs of Stress

These signs may present as anxiety, aggressive behavior, stomachaches/headaches or a desire to stay home from school and other activities.

Consults with Teachers and Staff

If you know your teen is going through a hard time at school or has come into conflict with peers, make sure teachers and other school staff are in the loop.

Feelings don’t need to be “fixed.” Instead, focus on helping your child understand and deal with his/her experiences. If signs of stress don’t seem to be subsiding after a few weeks, consider consulting a mental health professional who has special experience working with youth.

In addition, speak with your teen about not being on the other side of the coin – the person doing the teasing or gossiping. Being popular may be a very important goal for your teen, but gaining popularity should not be at the expense of a peer’s feelings or your child’s personal well-being.

The above information from TheAntiDrug.com, is brought to you by the South Bay Coalition and the Manhattan Beach Police Department. The South Bay Coalition (www.sbcoalition.com) is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth. If you would like a copy of the  South Bay Coalition’s Parent’s Guide to Preventing Substance Abuse, please visit our website or email: events@sbcoalition.com.

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What’s Driving Teens To Abuse Prescription Drugs?
(September 2007)

There is a new and disturbing trend parents need to know about. Teens are abusing prescription and over-the-counter (OTC) drugs in an effort to get high – the same kind of high obtained from illegal street drugs like marijuana or cocaine.

Teens and substance abuse experts say that there are many different reasons for the rise in prescription drug abuse by young people. As discussed in “The Changing Face of Teenage Drug Abuse: The Trend Toward Prescription Drugs” in 2006 New England Journal of Medicine, there is a misperception that prescription and OTC drugs are medically safer, and therefore the abuse of such drugs in order to get high is not as bad as abusing street drugs.

Teens also point to personal or family-related stress as another major reason why they abuse prescription drugs. Other reasons include:

• Escape and boredom
• Preservation of friendships, romantic relationships, and family life
• Competing for college admission, including competition for Advanced Placement and Honors courses in high school
• The balance between school work, grades, and extracurricular activities like sports and clubs; and,
• The desire to have the “ideal” physical appearance.

Some students try to dial down the pressure by abusing painkillers and sedatives. Teens are also abusing stimulants, such as Ritalin, a drug used for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). These teens don’t realize that prescription drugs, if used outside doctor’s orders, can pack a very hard – sometimes lethal – punch. They can be just as addictive as street drugs and abuse can create similar health effects, such as paranoia, seizures, and cardiac arrest. Many people don’t realize the harm associated with prescription drugs until it is too late.

Talk to your teen about the dangers of abusing prescription and OTC drugs, and educate yourself on signs and symptoms of abuse. Follow the tips below to prevent prescription and over-the-counter abuse among teens:

1. Keep Track of Quantities: Take note of how many pills are in a bottle or pill packet and ask other households your teen visits (such as grandparents or friends) to do the same. Don’t forget about refills. If you find you have to refill medication for a chronic condition more often than recommended, there could be a real problem – as someone may be knowingly stealing your medication.

2. Talk to Friends, Relatives and School Administration: Make sure your friends and relatives know about the risks, too, and encourage them to regularly monitor their own medicine cabinets. If you don’t know the parents of your child’s circle of friends, then make an effort to get to know them, and get on the same page about rules and expectations. Follow up with your teen’s school administration to find out what they are doing to address issues of Rx and OTC drug abuse on campus.

3. Follow Directions Carefully:Make sure you and your teen use RX drugs only as prescribed by a medical doctor and take only the recommended dosages as indicated for both Rx and OTC drugs. If you are directed to finish the prescription, then do so as advised. If you have any questions about how to take a prescription drug, call your family physician or pharmacist.

4. Discard Old or Unused Medications: Unused prescription drugs should be disposed of in the trash. It is best to add an undesirable substance (like used coffee grounds or kitty litter) and put the mixture in an impermeable, non-descript container like an empty can or bag. Unless the directions say otherwise, DO NOT flush medications down the drain or toilet because the chemicals can taint the water supply. Also, remove any personal, identifiable information from prescription bottles or pill packages before you throw them away.

5. Be Observant: If you find your teen is quickly going through cough syrup, or you find empty bottles and pill packages among your child’s personal effects, talk with him/her, listen carefully, and determine if there is a problem. If there is a problem, call your family physician immediately.

6. Find Other Ways to Relieve Stress and Have Fun: Many teens point to personal and family stress, as well as boredom, as reasons they abuse Rx and OTC drugs. Help your teen find other ways to relieve pressures, for example through positive activities that interest your child, positive friendships, or by simply listening and offering guidance. Also, help your teen find constructive ways to pass time and set a good example yourself.

The above information from TheAntiDrug.com, is brought to you by the South Bay Coalition and the Manhattan Beach Police Department. The South Bay Coalition (www.sbcoalition.com) is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth. If you would like a copy of the South Bay Coalition’s Parent’s Guide To Preventing Substance Abuse, please visit our website or email: events@sbcoalition.com.

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Parenting Early Adolescence   (October 2007)

The first sign of adolescence is the start of puberty, triggered by the release of hormones leading to sexual development. Compared to 25 years ago, puberty starts younger today, and on average begins two years earlier in girls than in boys. Puberty generally takes 2-4 years to complete.

What You Can Do

The dramatic physical changes make many teens highly self-conscious and preoccupied with body image and appearance. Some go through a period of awkwardness. Parents can help their teens adapt to these natural changes in several ways. Parents should respect their teen’s growing need for privacy and not expect them to share all their thoughts and feelings. Let your teen know that he/she is normal, and try to talk openly about the changes he/she is experiencing. Monitor and talk to your teens about what they see in popular culture so they establish reasonable expectations and a reasonable evaluation of themselves.

The Mind Playing Tricks!

Other changes are also occurring in the brain. Just prior to puberty, the thinking part of the brain responsible for reasoning, problem-solving, and impulse control grows dramatically. This area is refined throughout adolescence, affecting how the brain manages emotions, impulses and decision-making.

What You Can Do

The ability of teens to “put on the brakes” on risk-taking and think through decisions is not fully developed. Young teens are also more likely to misread emotional signals, such as mistaking your concern for anger or criticism, which can lead to communication problems. You can help by being patient, listening, avoiding generalizations, staying calm, and clearly spelling out your feelings. Don’t leave any “gray areas” or room for misinterpretation when it comes to expectations. Be direct and specific to avoid any confusion. Sit down with your teen to set clear rules and consequences for violating them.

Trying On New Hats

Emotionally, teens are starting to separate from their parents and many don’t want to be seen with them. Peers are becoming more important, helping teens test new ideas and roles. Close peer relationships are common. Some teens spend hours on the phone and dress just like their friends. Many teens are focused on fitting in and are more likely to take unhealthy risks in order to be accepted by peers. Images from entertainment and advertising media may also play a powerful role in shaping teens’ appearance and behavior. It’s not uncommon for bullying and teasing to intensify, making school and other social activities painful for some teens.

What You Can Do

Teens still say that parents are the biggest influence in their lives. However, peers are growing in importance and your teen is still learning to control impulses. So you need to provide firm guidance on risky behaviors, such as alcohol and other drug use, violence, and sex.  Prepare your teen so he/she can resist pressures of drug use or other risk-taking. Respect the importance of friends, but try to stay connected and involved. Maintain family traditions and involve other trusted adults in your teen’s life. Spend time talking with your teen every day and continue being active in his/her school and activities. Monitor and set limits on your teen’s use of media and talk about unhealthy messages in popular media. If you suspect bullying is a problem, talk to your teen. Be positive and accepting, and acknowledge that the bullying is not his/her fault. Get your teen’s input on how to address the problem and if needed, get help from school officials.

From Cooties to Cute

Teens start to have some romantic interests, interacting mainly over the phone, over the Internet or at school. They may begin pushing parents to allow them to date. Shyness, blushing, modesty and quick embarrassment are normal.

What You Can Do

Parents should establish an age for dating and hold to it, but allow room for negotiation. For example, parents may want to encourage group dating for younger teens or offer to host a BBQ or organize other get-togethers. This gives you the chance to plan something with your teen and meet his/her friends. During these early dating years, parents should also set curfews and encourage teens to check in at various times.

The above information from TheAntiDrug.com, is brought to you by the South Bay Coalition and the Manhattan Beach Police Department. The South Bay Coalition (www.sbcoalition.com) is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth. To order our booklet: A Parent’s Guide To The Prevention Of Alcohol And Other Drugs, please visit our website or contact: events@sbcoalition.com.